7 Ways to Cultivate Peace on Social Media

 ”Peace out, Instagram. I’m taking a break!” 

We’ve all seen that one friend’s selfie and sharply worded little caption–her (peaceful) protest of the dumpster fire hot mess express that seems to define social media platforms. You know what I’m talking about. She’s announcing to the world that she just need to peace out for a minute. Heck, maybe you’re that friend. I see versions of this post pop up a few times a year, sometimes multiple times a year, from people who need to leave social media just to regain capacity to enjoy the use of social media again. How about you?  Do you feel overwhelmed, burned out, discouraged, disgusted, heavy, and confused by the conflict dynamics playing out on social media? Maybe you want to grow your following, but it just feels draining. What if I told you that you can douse the dumpster fire that is your current experience on social media while keeping your emotional well-being in tact? 

bringing the Kingdom into this space

Would you like to open that app today and feel positive things like, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, compassion, and care? The potential of social media to be a force for good is there. Would you like to be able to fervently pray for other people, see the stories of good, and actively look to see how God is showing up in that platform? Time to pull back the curtain and learn how social media can be a positive social connector.

Social media is amazing and it’s not going anywhere, so maybe it’s time to ask ourselves how can we bring the Kingdom into this space? Let’s talk about how to get your peace back and not to lay it down on social media. I’ve got some tips and tricks for you. The way that I see it, social media is an incredible tool that reveals just how ripe the field is for harvest. It proves every day that God is up to good things through workers like you and me. Yes, there are a lot of trials and tribulations to be witnessed on all digital platforms. I see injustice and hardship. I see the comments of hatred, gossip, slander, sexual overload, fake news, harmful content and opinions hastily typed in anger.  It can be heavy sometimes, especially watching people who maybe used to get along and they were really good friends. Now all of a sudden they’re fighting or arguing over a political narrative and things that just feel important, but also not that important. I’m there with you. I see it, too. And if I can be completely honest, I’m often triggered and I lay down my peace when I hear about a miscarriage, a loss of a baby in the womb, unexplained infertility, or a cancer diagnosis announcement. Am I next? My flesh, left unchecked, reacts with this knee jerk agreement that drives me back to the feet of Jesus almost daily. It just seems like everywhere we turn, there’s bad news, right?  But even amidst all the hardship in this present moment, there lies the invitation always on the table from our Lord and Savior. And it’s the invitation to take heart. Because Jesus has overcome the world, we do see his goodness in the land of the living. There are many people poised right now to know God’s love for them in and through the era of social media and to use it to dispel the root causes of conflicts. 

vacations are necessary

As an aside, I want to make sure you know that I do take breaks from Instagram. I don’t often announce it. I usually go unannounced. Every worker needs a vacation and because I choose to leverage social media in my daily routine to serve others and generate income for my family, I do view it as work. So vacations are a must, right? It’s almost like an act of worship, too, that demonstrates that I trust God with my social media and I trust him with my platform and he can do with it what he wants. It’s just a great way to test your faith, right? 

consumers, contributors and everyone in between

I have to tell you 80% of the time for me, Instagram and online social networks are not a drain for me.  It’s because I’ve learned how to hang on to peace and sense of calmness while using it. Whether you’re someone who uses social media for entertainment or you’re someone, like me, who intentionally grows and leverages it as a tool for ministry and business, you’re going to be blessed by this message today. I’m going to break this topic down into two sections. The first section is for those who consume–this is someone that is seeking entertainment, new perspectives, stress reduction and connection via social media. The second section is going to be for the person who wants to contribute to social media from a position of peace. They use it as a tool for business among other digital communication tools. In the end, I hope to actually activate a few of you who are feeling nudged to grow your Instagram or your social media presence, but you’re in hiding. 

Here are three ways to cultivate peace on purpose for those of you who are quietly consuming cat videos…hahaha, I know that’s not all you’re doing, but your primary way of using social media is to consume and commune with your friends on social media. 

inventory, decide, pay attention

#1: Inventory who you are following. Who do you want to become or who do you want to mimic? One thing that’s really been helpful for me to curate my experience on social media from peace is to understand that it’s impossible not to be discipled through social media. You are being influenced. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you’re cleaning up or taking inventory of your friends list. Number one, do you follow people that post hope-laced content that serves you and your family’s mission for the kingdom this season? Do they enrich your life? Do they collapse time for you? What I mean by collapsing time for you is I follow a couple people who are pretty savvy in the kitchen and they have tips and tricks that I don’t know about. When I follow them and I implement that tip or trick in my kitchen, it’s really helpful. They collapse time for me. I was wasting a lot of time doing it another way and they showed me how to cut my time on that task. The next thing you have to ask yourself is if you feel doom and gloom? Do you feel anger and bitterness when they’re posting something? Does it feel off? Listen, muting people, unfollowing, and regular spring cleaning is a good idea. I do this at least four times a year. I want to follow like-minded people–people that are positive, hopeful, helpful and believe in growth– because I become like the people that I follow. Again, it’s impossible to follow people and not be influenced. Another question I ask myself is: what’s my next season of transition? Who is doing it well and who would I like to emulate? I want to follow other women who are raising teenagers (because that’s the season I’m approaching), and I’m inspired by the way that they think about their teenagers and the way that they minister to their teenagers. So taking inventory of who you are following is the first step to building peace while using social media.

#2: Decide what you want from social media.  When you open the app, why are you going there? What do you want from it?  Social media is a tool for your family’s growth and entertainment. Ask yourself how you want it to serve you? Here are a couple of things that I look for when it comes to curating my social media experience. Number one, I want to laugh. Good, clean humor. I love reels. Laughter really is the best medicine and when times have been so serious, laughter is really, really good for your mental health. My kids and I will sit there and watch reels of other families that are just hilarious. The second thing I want to do is I want to connect with people. I want to hop in the DMs and I want to chat on people’s stories as they post them. I love seeing where my friends are going, what they’re buying, what they’re doing, and I love commenting on it. It brings me a sense of community and that’s really great because I have seven kids. I’m home and I’m usually with them and it feels good to be able to chat with some of my friends on demand and see what they’re up to. You see it’s a good place to be when you’re connected with the right people and content, right?  Another thing is I often want to learn a new skill, so I turn to those I follow to learn about it. I use Instagram as a resource since there is a free flow of information. 

#3: Pay attention to your thoughts while you’re scrolling. This is a big one and it’s the biggest reason why I became a coach for modern homemakers, female ministry leaders and entrepreneurs.  Paying attention to how you feel when you’re browsing social media is revealing because behind every feeling is a thought–a positive or a negative thought. These thoughts have a significant impact on how we experience life. Behind the thought is your belief. The entire time you’re on social media, your brain is actively looking for and collecting evidence of what you already believe. If you believe God is able and you’re partnering with him, you will see all the ways to serve and the way he’s showing up in social media right now. If you believe Satan is in control and everyone is nuts and people are crazy and it’s doom and gloom and judgment and criticism, then yeah, you’ll collect every piece of evidence to prove that you believe social media is a dumpster fire hot mess express. Your brain will work hard to prove what you believe. This is why taking your thoughts captive is a necessary skill to learn, but you start by paying attention to your feelings and then connecting those feelings to your thoughts. This is a powerful framework and tool for personal growth.

Now to my friends here that want to grow your influence on social media, increase your number of followers and online engagement rate and use this for business or for ministry, listen up.

There are 4 important things that you need to know as a believer when you’re growing your platform. As somebody who has been successfully growing her Instagram and social media platform for the last 8 years, these are my core thoughts that are so helpful for cultivating peace.

for the business and ministry gals: 4 things to remember

#1: You have to remember that you are discipling people. Ask the Holy Spirit whom he is calling you to serve and then serve up what they need in this season. Collapsing the time of suffering for other people with your gifts and talents is how you grow your audience. You have to see that you are not only being discipled on social media, but you are actually discipling others if you are actively growing your influence.

You have natural gifts and then you have your supernatural gifts that were given to you by God for the purpose of serving others. Boldly use them to love and serve others in impactful ways. The more others feel loved and served by you, the more your follower count grows. Peace is most held when you have others in mind. This is going to require you to not be consumed by what people are thinking of you and the way that you serve. Self protection and peace do not get along. Those who are self protecting on social media are timid, they’re nervous, and people can tell. Those watching will feel uncomfortable by your timidity and your nervousness. Stick with serving the people that the Lord is impressing on you and then stick to being faithful to your assignment this season, not to what others are going to think of you for the way that you’re doing it. This will lead to a sense of inner peace.

#2 God is Lord of the algorithm. This is my favorite thought. The gurus are going to keep you on the hamster wheel of being up to date on the changes of the algorithm and how to play the game. I want to invite you to remember that you play by different rules when it comes to social media. Your job is to follow nudges, serve the people that God has called you to serve and then thank God for feeding the people who needed to have the information that you posted that day. God is Lord over the algorithm, so even if they change the algorithm over and over and over again, our mission to serve remains the same. I’ll be honest, I lay down my peace when I’m consumed with how to play the game rather than being very, very passionate to create and curate content that’s going to serve the audience–the people that God has impressed on me to serve. I choose in advance to trust that God is Lord over the algorithm, and He is going to get it to those who need it. Being obedient is tied to my peace. Trust that God is going to put it in front of others. I promise you my organic growth has come from faithfully serving up what the Lord asked me to serve. 

#3: Believe that you’re needed at the table. You have a unique perspective and a unique spin on the assignment God has given you. When God counts you in, you get in the game.That’s it. God said the harvest is ripe and the workers are few.  So when you think that there’s already enough workers and it’s already being taken care of, you don’t need to get in the game. I’m telling you, you step out of alignment with God when you talk yourself out of acting on what he has nudged you to do. You’re needed at the table. Your voice matters. You have a different spin than what other people are sharing.  

#4: You are not your niche. Your niche is your current assignment. And guess what? Assignments change. Some of you are making big transitions on your social media. You’re safe to make transitions, friends.  I see people transition beautifully on social media. You are not your niche. Your next season of growth happens when you’re actually willing to upgrade and be comfortable with making transition. Those who fight transition actually endure a lot of niche drama. What you do online is not all you are. The truth is you’re a multifaceted human being. You are not one thing. You’re multifaceted and God loves you and following his will is more important than you sticking to a niche.  Put the platform back in his hands and enjoy the ride. I will tell you, I have evolved a lot on social media over the last decade. There were seasons where I was talking about one topic and then seasons where I was talking about another and then another and I don’t think that has been a problem at all. It has simply reinforced the idea to my followers that I am a multi-faceted human who is constantly growing. Make room for that on your platform and you will experience so much more peace than adhering to some of the things that the gurus are telling you. Don’t pigeonhole yourself. If you wouldn’t put God in a box, don’t put yourself in a box. It’s ok to change gears and focus on different things as you change and evolve.

design your experience

Social media is a tool both to serve others and to serve your family. You are not called to be a slave to social media, but rather to take advantage of the gift of freedom of expression it allows.  You are best when you are on purpose and you’re not controlled by an app on your phone. You have full permission to design the experience you want on social media, just like you can in every area of your life. 

I’ve got good news. God is in social media. I know that’s true because you’re on social media and he lives in you. I’m actively looking for his goodness in the land of the living and I’m going to invite you into this new way of thinking today.  I want to also say something to those of you who are feeling nudged to grow your social media on purpose. I want to remind you of this. You’re called, you’re equipped, and you’re gifted by God, the Holy Spirit, with a pivotal role. Jesus has paid a high price for you to have access to the Father. The Father wants to partner with you and make an impact online using the power of social media. Remember online platforms are not going anywhere. It’s a way that he’s using to grow his kingdom and we get to work with God in the social media landscape. Truly, social media to me as a mom of many has been such a gift. I get to serve so many people–even on a global level–and be home with my family. If you’ve been thinking about it, I want to share with you that it can be really fun. If you’ve been nudged in that direction, listen to the Holy Spirit and explore it. I invite you to say yes and just lay it at God’s feet and ask him, what do you want me to do in this space? How do you want me to clean it up? How do you want me to curate and experience this during my everyday life? How can I be a good steward of social media so I can get my peace back and participate in the promotion of peace among my online community?  

share with a friend that needs to hear this today

If this blog helped you, would you do me a favor? Would you share it with a friend that might need these reminders today? More people need to know that they never, ever have to lay down their peace. You can also find out ways that you can partner with me or work with me for a season by visiting leslieburris. com. Thanks for being a part of our community here!