It’s Over – You Need A New Assignment

You don’t know it’s the end of an era until you do.

It’s always in hindsight.

The symptoms for transition are not easily detected. Mild discontentment, low-grade guilt, fake gratitude…

“I’m sorry, Lord. I really am thankful for this house. It hits our basic needs even though it’s small and not in a town where I want to be. Help me be more grateful.”

These prayers started 3 months ago when the contractors made their daily home in our front yard – donning paint stained Carhartt jeans, I began to be feel gratitude come back to my bones, stepping up on the yellow scaffolding to serve them an ice water.

That came to a screeching halt in May.

The symptoms went from mild discontentment to disappointment real fast.

“This house is so small. I wish I had an office. I never wanted to live in Tulsa in the first place.”

wooooooof. Can you feel that?

Yeah. This was much harder to pray my way out of. The guilt, too great.

So I did what any rational person does – self medicating!

A little more food – a little more drink – a little more “put my feet up, because I deserve it”.

One day I looked over at my husband as he drove us to the pool and blurted out, “You know I’m not ok. I’m in ‘treat yo’self’ mode and I’m not ANY happier. I’m not getting any satisfaction and I have no idea what’s going on with me. It’s just getting heavier! The entitlement is palpable”.

Then came bitterness.

Resentment.

Wanting to be ANYWHERE but in THIS house.

Wanting to actually escape.

In fact, we did!

We traveled to Carlton Landing – to Evan’s Escape! lol. (connecting dots and having a-ha moments as I write this – humbling, indeed)

10 Invisible Signs You Are Living With An Expired Assignment

Restlessness: You may feel uneasy or dissatisfied with your current situation, even if you can’t pinpoint exactly why. You’re dreaming about change.

Reflective Thinking: Increased introspection and reflection on past experiences and future goals often indicate you’re ready for a new assignment.

Shift in Priorities: You might begin to value different things than you did before, focusing more on personal growth in the Lord, relationships, or health rather than career or material success.

Exploration of New Interests: You may have a sudden interest to exploring new hobbies, activities, or fields of interest, seeking new passions or career paths.

Changes in Social Circles: Transition often leads to shifts in your relationships, distancing yourself from some friends and forming closer bonds with others who align with a new assignment.

Emotional Fluctuations: Increased emotional sensitivity, ranging from excitement to anxiety, can be a sign of internal change and the uncertainty that accompanies it. You want to jump in – but you feel so safe and happy in an assignment that feel familiar, however it’s increasingly harder to ignore. You feel “double-minded and unstable”.

Desire for Simplification: A sudden urge to declutter you life, whether it’s your physical space, relationships, or commitments, can indicate a need for clarity and focus during a transition of assignment. Nesting isn’t just for when a new baby is born, but when you’re making room to “give birth” to a new assignment.

Physical Symptoms: Literally trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, or other stress-related symptoms. It’s a soul ache for something more.

Increased Learning: The best way I can explain this is “the waiting room becomes a school room.” You’re seeking out new knowledge or skills, enrolling in courses, reading more, or seeking mentors to guide you into a new assignment.

Behavioral Changes: You start making subtle changes in your daily routines or habits, such as waking up earlier, changing your diet, or adopting new routines, often reflection of this internal nudge of, “something new is on the way – and I need to be different for it.”

It’s over – and now things make sense

Over the weekend everything shifted.

I was hitting the pavement on a walk with the Lord, and just crying over how unhappy I am in this house (that is so incredible now, btw).

Once again, guilt was washing over me for complaining when the still small voice of the Holy Spirit hit me right in-between the ears…

“You’re living in someone else’s dream. I asked you to make it for them, and now it’s over. Thank you.”

I began to sob.

Tears hit the pavement faster than the sweat of my hot Tulsa brow, because this was making sense.

It was May 2020 when The Good Shepard nudged us to renovate a homestead and sell it to a family who was looking.

For 18 months we prepared and saved cash for a downpayment on this house, knowing we were looking for a fixer upper to pour our sweat equity into.

We gutted a brand new camper and we were feeling so proud of ourselves that the Lord leveraged that confidence to His glory.

(Spolier alert: renovating a house is NOT the same thing as a camper.)

But we did it.

We poured ourselves out in this project and invested about $75,000. The person who buys it will have some fun painting to do and maybe a couple appliances to purchase (because Ruby stays with me), but it’s ready.

All the recent inner turmoil was pointing to NEW VISION.

What is an assignment?

When the Lord laid it on our heart to buy a home and fix it up for another family – this was our assignment.

It kept us busy planning for 18months, and then working on the actually place for 2.5 years. That’s a 4 year assignment.

Now that it’s done – I can clearly see that all this drama and guilt and complaining was like a check engine light – IT’S TIME FOR THE NEXT ASSIGNMENT.

What’s Next?

Someone on Facebook recently shared a fun status update that was obvious engagement bait…

And I bit.

Sometimes we don’t know what is next – but something the helps draw it out?

money.

If 70% of your prayer list can be answered with a dollar amount…

Then this is a sign you need to pray for the Lord for wisdom to increase your bucks!

He can do it.

When my friend Jeff posted this, I didn’t even hesitate.

Buy a bus, buy a house in Scottsdale.

(the reason for Scottsdale will be a different post)

I won’t be paying this house off, though.

This house is someone else’s dream.