Break the Cycle of Living Paycheck-to-Paycheck

I was inspired to write on this topic after a coaching call I had with a young woman who was laying down her peace about inflation and the cost of her visits to the grocery store.

Her face sank when she confessed out loud, “I‘m just afraid we’re not going to make it.”  I felt it. And I’ve been there, and so many of us are there. Sometimes, worry is an invitation to make a change, and since I know that, I was able to calmly walk her through some of her options. She left the call with peace and a plan.

“Will I have to raise my kids on my own?”

I just love my job, but I couldn’t help but be teleported back to my own life in 2014, when I was very worried about money. And I had little kids.  That was the year that my marriage blew up after discovering my husband was being unfaithful with a coworker. We had two little girls, ages two and under, and I was pregnant with baby number three. 

I know you must be thinking like, wait a second. I thought you said you were worried about money.  Shouldn’t you have been worried about your marriage?  Well, yeah, of course I was a mess and I wondered how things were going to work out for us.  My husband promised he would do everything to make it right again, but I trusted him and his word about it as much as I trust my three year old to perform a root canal. 

The reason I was worried about money is because I was facing a hard reality, one that many women are facing today. What will I have to do if I have to raise my kids on my own?  I don’t work. I have zero dollars in my name, not even a credit card. What if I need to kick him out?  How would I pay the bills? How would I feed the kids?  Plus, the thought of leaving my full time mom stay at home life felt like salt in the wound that I never even asked for.  We were already caught in the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle. Every single dollar was spoken for. Whenever it dropped into our bank account, it was out of our bank account as fast as it was in. There was no wiggle room for unexpected expenses and forget about building an adequate savings.

an alarming stat

While most of you listening to this aren’t facing the same level of trauma in your marriage or in your home as I was, 64% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck. Throw in cost of living increases, inflation, variable expenses, and unforeseen medical bills and your financial security is in jeopardy. You might be facing some of the same baseline questions that made me feel afraid back in 2014. 

What are we going to do so that we have enough money? What if we lose a job and we don’t have enough money to make ends meet?  What if I don’t get to be with my babies and I have to go back to work or my husband has to take a second job?  Is there a way to earn extra money without going out and getting a traditional job? What if the job I get doesn’t even cover my monthly expenses? 

As a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) practitioner, I understand that questions actually turned into statements reveal what you really believe.

So here is what my questions revealed about my beliefs:

We aren’t going to have enough money.

We aren’t going to make ends meet.

I will have to back to work outside of my home and not be with my babies.

My husband will be gone all the time because he is going to have to take a second job.

The only way to earn money is through a traditional job,

I could get a job, but it won’t be able to take care of our monthly budget.

All of those questions-turned-statements are rooted in worry and do not help alleviate financial stress, but only make it worse. It’s really hard to actually sit at the table and come up with a good plan to increase your income levels and improve financial futures when you’re fretting.

If you’re having these thoughts, it means you are ripe for a realignment with God and what he can do in your financial situation. 

it’s good to have options

Today, our family has 12 streams of income and, by God’s goodness and my husband’s tender heart, our marriage is restored today. But if you would have told me that in 2014, I would have never believed you. I wish that I could have sat down for a cup of coffee with a friend and mentor back then–someone to help me take the first step towards creating and meeting solid financial goals. Someone to help me create a blueprint towards financial freedom. Maybe that’s why I’m sharing today. I want to be that friend and mentor for you as you navigate the road to financial stablilty.

What we’re really talking about here is creating and cultivating more options and more sources of income. This is a conversation that many of us are having today and it’s a question that comes up a lot when I put up Q&A boxes on Instagram, People are hungry for more information on generating additional income and refining spending habits. 

Worry doesn’t birth opportunities or grow income, but operating from a position of peace does. If you find yourself in a place where you’re asking God to help you prioritize the most important things. like faith and family, then you’re in the right spot. In the last few years, I’ve learned running a household is very much like running a business. Your home and essential expenses, like food, transportation and utilities are overhead and you need regular cash flow meet regular expenses. Planning for times of inflation prevents financial crisis.

From time to time, we will talk about money, finances, career and business because relying on provision is one of the main things that we worry about as humans. God is our provider. He has a mission for your family and that mission may involve you all being together–doing day-to-day life together. Missions will also happen when your kids grow and start leaving and start their own missional families. We have to know how to increase. Your kids are going to learn from you. If you don’t know how, it’s hard to pass it on to your kids. I’m going to share the five steps that I took when we were learning how to increase our streams of income. 

my 5 steps

Step One: (psss…you can start on this one right away) Prayer

My initial prayer kind of looked like this, “Lord, I don’t know if I’m going to be a single mom or if our marriage is going to turn around. Either way, I’m asking you to help me and teach me how to increase. Please reveal scripture and show to me a way to earn and stay with my babies, if at all possible. And Lord, you said all things are possible with you. And so I trust you and I’m asking you for help and I know that you’re carrying me along the way. Amen.”

Step Two: Become a student of biblical finances. Increase in money doesn’t just come from luck, or lottery, or checks in the mail. It comes from learning how to sow and reap money. Having more than one stream of income is not the same as getting 12 jobs, by the way. You need to learn how to multiply money. You’re not going to have 12 income streams tomorrow.  I’m sorry to tell you that. It’s going to be a couple streams at a time and you’re going to need to learn how to do the first couple and that that’s going to take some skills. It takes time, but if you’re willing, it is possible. 

If you’re like me in 2014 where you needed money yesterday, I have good news, okay? God promises to sustain you  as you’re learning any new skill in life. He’s a loving father and he invests in his kids kind of the way that we invest in ours, but way better and far more holy.  While I was learning how to start and build income streams from home and with this huge desire to be together as a family, He provided in ways that were just what we needed when we needed it. The real hard work is trusting that you’re going to be provided for as you’re doing the learning.

Look for all the ways he’s answering prayer. Take courage to complete assignments that God is going to give you as a good teacher always does.  If you’re currently consumed with thoughts like we need more money, I don’t know how we’re going to afford this, we’re really in trouble, it’s too much money then you’ve laid your peace down about money. I want to encourage you. Faith is the currency of the kingdom of God and your first assignment is to remain calm and have faith. And the great news is it doesn’t require you to have a big faith because we all know Jesus said that faith as big as a mustard seed can produce mighty results.

Step Three:  Uncover your strengths and gifting.  Your money is tied to your gifts. Your natural gifts and the learned skills that you’ve acquired over the years and the supernatural gifts that are given to you by the Holy Spirit are all at play here. 

Here’s why it’s important for you to uncover your strengths and giftings. Proverbs 18:16 says that your gifts make room for you. The Bible also says that you are predestined for good works in Christ in Ephesians 2:10. The Bible also says that you are a part of the functioning body of other believers, a specific functioning person to the chief end of man’s purpose on earth, which is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. 

The reason I’m telling you this is because all of our incomes, except for one of them, are tied directly to our gifts and talents. People pay us for products and services because we have committed to operating in the way that God specifically designed for us. People are drawn to it. And that’s exactly the sweet spot I’m talking about and why it’s important you learn your gifts and talents.

I’ve built an income based on what I’m good at. The Strengths Finders Test was pivotal for me in 2014 and I always recommend it. Another great resource is a spiritual gifts test. Perhaps your church offers one. This test is based on the idea is that all believers have been given a gift because the Holy Spirit lives in them. It’s important to know your natural strengths and the things that God designed you for.

Step Four: Build (or share something that’s already built) that collapses the time of suffering for other people. Collapsing time of suffering for other people is the essence of business and the art of being an entrepreneur. It’s known as sales, selling, serving other people with a product or service that meets their current need and shows them how to get out of their suffering. It was 2015 that I started my first at home stream of income and I was paid money for promoting and selling a product that I knew would shorten the time of suffering for people. It helped babies sleep and take longer naps. It was a product that helped me with my anxiety while I was walking through an affair. I was actively sharing something and learning skills to help other people with products that I was already using. Basically I looked around my house and I asked myself what do I already have on hand that if I promoted it, I could get paid for it?

I truly believe that the pandemic actually wakened up a huge desire for families who want to be together, to work together, to earn income together, and to build a legacy that doesn’t fit the 100 year old industrial age model. People want to call the shots, do it on their own time, and they want to fulfill their calling from the Lord. They want to be active in their home and family life–it is beautiful.

So you might be saying how do I use my gifts and get paid for them? How do you put myself out there and become someone known and valuable in my local community or the online community or in the marketplace in general? 

This leads me to leads me to… Step Five: Get a mentor or a coach who is where you want to be. 

Think on this: the very device that you’re reading this blog post on right now was once just an idea in someone’s mind. Sure, they were gifted with knowledge and worked very hard to build this technology. But guess what else they had to do? They had to go share and sell it.  They had to rally investors, they had to earn the trust of collaborators, and they eventually had to sell. Every human can learn the art of sales and many have already put these principles into practice without even realizing it, but you’d better believe a coach or a mentor is part of that story. 

I needed someone to go with me when I started in 2014. I didn’t want to just do it on my own. I needed someone to teach me the skills and I needed them to coach me through all the fears that I was having about starting a business. My business mentors have encouraged me to fulfill my purpose and use my gifts. 

Following those five steps faithfully will increase your peace. Commitment and belief will build on it. If you’re worried about not making it to the end of the month right now, I want to encourage you to take the important step of acknowledging your need and humbly asking God to make a way for you in this season.