Creating Healthy Family Rhythms

Our family’s favorite day of the week is Rest Day! It’s one full day per week when we don’t work, we don’t cook, we don’t clean, and we don’t do chores. And this includes all family members–even mom and and dad!

Instead, we rest, we eat, we laugh, we nap, we read God’s word and we do whatever we want. Our typical daily habits are put on hold. We declare together as a family the work we completed this week was enough. We are enough because God is enough. It feels like Christmas…except it’s on a weekly basis.

we are called into rest

The pouring out of our efforts is met with gratitude for the Lord’s guiding our lives through his word and his Holy Spirit that week. We have realized we can get done in 6 days what needs to get done and the best way to show our reliance on and gratitude for the Lord is to enjoy His sweet rest and tender moments with our family. We are called into rest. So, we purposefully, from peace, acknowledge our need for the Lord and our desire to depend on Him to fill in the gaps for us. 

We get a lot of questions about the logistics of taking an entire day off together each week. 

Well, what if you have animals? 

How do you eat?

What if you have babies? 

What if weekends are for catching up around the house? 

counter cultural power move

Look, I get it. This weekly day off is a counter cultural power move and it’s met with resistance. We have 7 children. There is always, always a lot to be done around our house full of young children. But the habits of the household are worth the investment. Our own family has enjoyed a greater sense of peace since implementing Rest Day and we see abundant rewards in fostering this weekly rhythm.  

It doesn’t come easy. Implementing a day of rest every week was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my faith and required big changes. But I have seen the good it’s done for my own heart, my husband’s heart and our children’s hearts. It has been one of the most powerful ways we have sown God’s peace into our family and it’s also one of the ways we weave fun things together with practical patterns.

Rest is not something that I naturally gravitate towards. I love my work. I could do it for fun. And rest, honestly, it feels like a sacrifice.  But once upon a time, I was a burned out and bitter Christian woman–the chaos of family life was wearing me down. I’m not the same woman I was a couple years ago. And I’ve learned that to have daily quiet time and this healthy home rhythm of a weekly day of rest. 

A few years ago, I happened to stumble across this incredible book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. It’s short and life-changing. That book talked about having an entire day of rest once a week. This gem of a book helped me to see how important rhythms of rest are. As an ambitious woman, if you tell me I can accomplish more by doing less then you have my attention 100%. So, I decided to try it. I went to my husband and we discussed what it would look like if we took an entire day off together as a family. No cooking, no cleaning, no working, no checking in on work, nowhere to be, no yard chores. Just a day off together where we eat, rest, play, connect, and declare this week was enough. A day to pause from the frenetic pace of our life.  I reminded him how we are designing our life and we needed more fun and more margin. We needed to play and rest and trust. My husband was in.  

but how??

One of the most helpful things to do when adopting this new routine is to prepare on Friday afternoons (if rest day will be Saturday). You can usually find us between 2 and 5 pm on Fridays doing whatever needs to be done to prep for the next day. That means food prep is happening, chores are happening, and errand running is happening. We kick off rest day on Friday at 5pm and then we pick up with our normal schedule on Sunday mornings. With it  being the Lord’s Day, we go to church and then we jump in ready to get after it  We’ve had this weekly ritual going strong for over two years now and it has been such a great thing for our family.

We’re eager for that fresh new week. We come to the table recharged, re-energized, and getting back to work as a family. It actually sounds fun!  God’s rhythms and designs are life-giving and they go a long way to helping us feel more at peace.  

rest day guidelines

1. The first thing I want to tell you about rest day is that we do not keep a rigid schedule that day. Our goal, again, is not to have to cook, to clean, or to do any of the normal things that we do throughout the week.  Rest day is going to look different for each family because every family functions differently, but the invitation will still be the same. You can implement this however it works best for you and you can rearrange your schedule. 

2.  A lot of times, we’ll go out to eat for a meal on rest day,. If it’s breakfast, then I’ll make sure to prep Saturday lunch and dinner in bags so it’s easy for even the kids to get out and serve up. The kids help during the prep time on Friday, too! Always giving them jobs to do. It’s actually kind of fun to have meals this way plus there are no dishes to wash!

3. Another thing we do on rest day is we do treat night. Our kids love treat night. We typically stay away from treats during the week and then we save it for rest day because, again, rest day feels like Christmas and on Christmas you eat sweets! We plan for it and it’s just it’s just so much fun. 

4. When it comes to our typical rest day, our (non-rigid) schedule is sleep in and then get up and go out to breakfast or stay home and be cozy. The idea is that rest is the main priority. Sometimes my husband will get up and go grab me a coffee and he’ll grab some doughnuts. Sometimes we ask the kids if they want to go to the farmer’s market, park or the swimming hole at the river. It’s whatever we want to do as long as we all agree on it as a family.

perks

Another perk about implementing rest day is that now I have implemented rest hours into my daily routine. From 4 to 5:30 in the evening, I’m usually not working. I’m usually sitting. I’m usually reflecting on my day. I’m usually laughing with the kids and just being really present. Once you start with one day, you start to ask yourself, where can I incorporate more breaks in my day? And it just increases your gratitude during a busy season of raising children. 

Notice a woman has a 30 day cycle. The moon has a moon cycle. The sun even moves in such a way where it’s in a rhythm.  Everything that is cyclical, like your heartbeat, everything that has a rhythm has been established by the Lord. When you can get into the Lord’s rhythm and ask what his design is, you are positioned for positive spiritual formation. 

but seriously, how is this possible?

Someone asked me this great question: “What does rest day look like with an active toddler?” And I have to laugh because I have toddler and a newborn, so I know alllll about this.They’re active and they’re hilarious and they need a rest and recalibration day. However, they’re not lounging around like me and dad and maybe some of their older siblings are so rest for them is our acknowledgement that it’s a lot of work for toddlers to be out running errands during the week. This is a big one. You know, they’re working too. Every time we plop them in the car, we take them to play dates, we go on all these errands that’s like work to them. When we take a day off and we’re not doing those things, that’s their participation in rest. They will just be kids and run around and play, they’ll be there for the meals, and obviously we change diapers and things like that. Remember, this is not a legalistic move. The flow of your day is relaxed and peaceful. There are no exact times for meals or things like that.

This is about the heart posture of rest and simple ways to encourage peace at home. You want to be way more intentional and take the time to plan ahead and know what’s coming. I loved what one of my friends recently said…she said your schedule should serve you. You shouldn’t be a slave to your schedule. It’ll be clunky for a couple times but keep practicing and improving upon rest day. If you find it difficult to rest, it’s a sign that you’re probably detoxing from hustle culture and having to go, go, go all the time. And again, this idea of rest is so counter cultural. It is a power move for those who love God and believe him and trust him with all their heart and they lean not on their own understanding.

the Lord will help you know the way

I’m going to leave you with this testimony that I got from someone over on IG. She said that both she and her husband work full time outside the home and her husband worked for the church on Sundays. She said they decided to implement rest day and for nine months, they didn’t go anywhere on Saturdays. They ate easy food on paper plates and it was glorious, she said. 

If y’all really want it, you’ll make a way. I’ve got better news than that. The Lord will show you the way. Ask Him to reveal what you ought to do next. 

Thank you for joining me here. If this blog blessed you, would you do me a favor and share it with a friend? Check out my previous posts too for more family-focused ideas!

More people need to know that they never, ever have to lay down their peace. If you liked what you read here, I have more content in other places. You can find me over on Instagram, Facebook,  and YouTube. You can also find out ways that you can partner with me or work with me for a season. You can get more information at leslieburris.com.