Looking Forward to the Future

Have you ever heard of PWD?  It stands for post wedding depression and brides are susceptible to it. It’s where they have this incredible vision for anywhere between 12 to 24 months of preparation and vision casting. It involves a white dress. Often times they end up purchasing the first dress that they tried on, but not until they’ve tried on at least a dozen more dresses.It also includes setting up a reception area, picking out table linens and flowers and color schemes and imagining what the bridal table will look like. And even though there’s some bumps in the roads with picking out maid of honor or matron of honor and maybe there’s a little bit of drama of who’s going to be in the wedding and who’s not and who’s going to be invited and who’s not, it’s all part of the build up. 

Brides welcome this because it’s their day and the next destination is the wedding ceremony. It’s the day that they’ve been dreaming for their whole lives. It’s usually after all the wedding gifts have been opened and everyone goes home and moves on with their lives that the bride is tend to ask the question now what??

After investing 12 to 24 months into this vision, the let down can be serious. There was a goal, an agenda, a list of things to tackle, obstacles to overcome, and bride and groom overcame it. Now as it wraps up and fades into a distant memory, the bride is left asking herself things like, “is this is?” or “it’s over already?” PWD is what we’re going to talk about in this blog today, which is something that I completely made up. I’ve actually never heard of PWD, but I imagine that it is a real experience.

what makes it epic

Like the bride, we often come to the realization that 90 percent of life is looking forward to things. We realize the anticipation is often sweeter than the actual event. This is what I call the gift of anticipation. It’s is what makes an ordinary experience in our life epic. These are the instances that make the world look different. I’ve seen this so many times, especially in business, where people will invest years to get to a certain place. They grind away at it through the difficult times and through the mental health challenges. 

They invest and they invest and they invest and then they finally get to this apex moment. It’s moment of they have finally hit their goal and they look around and they say, “That’s all? There’s nothing more? Why do I feel so  disappointed?” 

For a moment, think about your last vacation. Think about the planning part of it.

Where are we going to go? 

How much are we going to spend?

Where are we going to stay? 

You’re actively building a vision for what is to come. 

And then you get to the vacation and you’re like,  Really? This is it?  

You get home and you think to yourself, well, now what? Now what are we going to do? What are we going to look forward to? 

I actually want to equip you to make room for the fact that 90% of the positive experiences in your life are tied to the gift of anticipation. 

an anxious expectation

I believe that God designed it this way because hope is the anxious expectation of the incredible things that God has to come. You know, the ultimate thing that we’re hoping for is the anticipation of Christ’s return and what heaven is going to be like. There will be no more tears. There will be no more sorrow. There will be no more pain. And we look forward to that. We get a foretaste of that by experiencing things here–kind of a preview. So when you’re planning the vacation, you get a taste of what it’s like to look forward to good things that are to come.

I read Hero on a Mission by Donald Miller last summer and it was transformational for me. In that book, he shared his journey of riding his bicycle from one end of the US to the other. He also shared about all the preparation and planning that went into that adventure. It took a lot of planning to leave his own business in the hand of others during that time. But he said everything was fine. He felt capable of handling all the obstacles that came for him. He was on mission, but he said it was after journey ended, he was face with a new challenge that involved the foreseeable future. He realized for the first time it was time to add another element to the plot of his life. Otherwise, he would fall into at the pit of despair.

You really feel the weight of perishing when you don’t have a vision. 

what if nothing was off the table?

Where do you want to be a year from now? Where is God calling you right now? What mission does he have for you and your family? What can you work into the plot? If you knew that nothing is off the table, what would you put on the table? One of the things that we decided to work into our plot is to go and take a mission trip over in Arizona. That is something that we’ve been thinking about doing, but we were kind of nervous about the target like should we do it? Should we not do it? But once we made the decision, now the planning comes in. Now the preparation comes in. Now the anticipation comes in. Now the vision comes in. And now we’re getting ready to go and do this thing.

You’ll actually experience more peace as you plan things on purpose. It’s when we allow life to just happen and we just kind of go with the flow that we lose a lot of time. When we don’t have a compelling vision, we perish.

I had the privilege of coaching a client a few weeks ago and she was describing exactly what writing about today. She went on this really wonderful vacation that she and her husband had planned for years. It was their 40th wedding anniversary and COVID pushed their trip back. They finally got to do it last summer and she was just describing how wonderful it was and she made the comment, “You know, since that trip, I’ve kind of let myself go. I just don’t feel great. You know, I put on some weight and I don’t understand why I feel this way. Last year when we were getting ready to go on this trip and we were planning to do all this hiking, I was in great shape. I felt good. I was lighter. I wasn’t as heavy as I am now.” I reminded her that she had a goal, a vision and a purpose for why she was doing those things to get ready for the trip. What happened when they got back from the trip was kind of the realization that the anticipation was over and she was thinking to herself, “now what??”

prepare another vision

I gently reminded her when you come home from a big event that you’re looking forward to, it’s important to prepare another vision. What are we doing this year? And it doesn’t have to be another elaborate vacation, but it has to be something that you’re looking forward to.  C.S. Lewis said, “it has to be that I’m made for another world because my longing is so great.  This must not be my forever home. ” And the thing is, God has so many great things to do in you and through you. God has predestined you for good works in Christ Jesus. Maybe it’s time to say, “Lord, what’s the next great work?” What is the next thing that I can look forward to and I can cultivate and I can be as passionate about and I can skip part of that massive letdown and disappointment. You can shorten the time of disappointment between events by having this understanding and this knowledge and self awareness that, wow, after my vacation, I get the opportunity to put something else on the docket.

So, what about you?  What’s next for you?  How is the anticipation? What are you looking forward to right now? 

writing a new plot twist

Maybe the thrill of the thing, the fun of the thing, the anticipation of the thing is a gift. What if the Lord is inviting you to put something on the map and work something into the plot of your life? What’s your next mission? What’s the next goal? What lights you up? What is God calling you and your family to do next? What is that risky thing that feels a little bit exhilarating?  

I look so forward to hearing about your adventures and the gift of anticipation you experience!

Come find me on social media @Leslie__burris! I can’t wait to get to know you!