Say Goodbye to Miserable Mealtimes for Good

If you have fussy eaters or your young children just won’t eat the food you serve during mealtimes, then this blog is for you! Maybe your kids will begrudgingly eat meals that you make, but it’s really hard to get them to sit down and enjoy family mealtimes together. Does this sound familiar? Back in 2016-2017, this was the mealtime mood in our household. We had 4 kids under the age of six and they were snack monsters. Snack times were their favorite time of day. They would absolutely not eat hot, nutritious food at mealtimes. It’s funny because today you might see my kids devouring healthy, made-from-scratch meals from a beautiful wooden food board on Instagram and you’d never know the struggles we saw just a few years ago. The turning point for us came when we eliminated snacks. As in, snacks are out completely now. My kids used to be addicted to eating snacks all day long. They had free reign to the pantry. They could eat whatever they wanted and their snack choices consisted of sugar and grains and processed foods.

the struggle was real

I was struggling in those days. Can I just pull the curtain back and be honest with you?  Four kids under the age of six was wild. I don’t even remember some of those days because I was limping. I didn’t sleep for years. I nursed every one of our babies and it was just really exhausted. I got to a point where I just needed easy and gave in to the power struggle. I knew I had dug myself a hole and that I would eventually have to crawl my way out. I knew the kids needed more nutritious food and to learn how to treat their bodies kindly, but I was just in survival mode.

We began transitioning away from buying food from the regular grocery store, because when you have four kids that are snack monsters, you go to Costco because that seems like a good idea. You “upgrade” and you start doing wholesale purchases in bulk. That’s just what you do. Well, my monthly grocery budget was climbing because I was buying foods like applesauce packets and yogurt packets and animal crackers and cheez its and cereals. I always had snacks on me because it made it easy. And when I needed to take a nap, I would just lay on the couch and sleep with the newborn, while my two year old was contained. We closed our eyes and we took a little nap while the two year old was playing and the big kids were playing and we would throw snacks to the glory of God and the good of the people. I needed it easy is my point, but the problem came to the surface in 2016. There was a tipping point.  It started to not be easy.  Not only was I taking the easy way and giving my kids snacks and just making sure that they had a full tummy and then they were happy, but I was also dealing with mom guilt about having so many kids and I wanted to be the best version of myself as a mother.

tired and limping

I’m sure none of you can relate to this. I’m just kidding. All of you guys can relate to this. I just wanted to be my best and I knew I didn’t feel my best. I was tired and I knew I was limping and I just wanted them to be happy because I was struggling and I thought that they might not love me (I was laying down my peace a lot), so I would give them sugary snacks to make them happy, I needed my kids to be happy and I needed it to be easy, but there was a tipping point. And I realized mealtimes were terrible. My husband and I were not enjoying meals. In addition to wanting to make my kids happy all the time, I also told myself that I needed to make three meals a day and include a variety of foods, in addition to the snacks that I was giving my kids. There was so much pressure to do it perfectly. 

I was faithfully doing that work, even when my kids were small and I was not sleeping. But here’s the thing. My kids were not eating my food. Mealtimes were terrible. They would eat half of their food. I would end up throwing away so  much food at breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I was working really hard and I was doing all the dishes because they weren’t old enough to start helping yet. And it really, really started to weigh on me that they weren’t eating nutritious meals or even healthy snacks. 

I realized I couldn’t sustain this lifestyle and have them be healthy. I had to make a change. And thankfully, listen to me, when things get hard at the dinner table and you have these diagnostic moments, these are all good signs and invitations to do something different. And it came to that point where it was harder to continue that way. It was no longer easy. 

hope on the horizon

So if your kids are not eating nutritious food and they’re just wanting snacks and you have the thoughts like me that they’re not healthy, I want to tell you there is hope. 

When I was in the snack season and it was easy and we were just flinging snacks just to get through, that was fine for a season until it wasn’t. And you’ll know when that season is changing. God is good. 

So we decided to cut out snacks from our diet and we just did it cold turkey. This may or may not be for you. I was a stay at home mom and my husband was working full time. I knew I could be there with the kids while they transitioned from the free-for-all snack fest to three healthy and wholesome meals a day. I was mentally preparing for the transition. We even hired someone to come and go through our pantry and educate us about nutrition and this was so helpful. She gave me a lot of hope. She said the kids could become healthy eaters and retrain their palate. She painted me a very hopeful picture. She encouraged us to stop snacking between meals and said the kids would come to mealtimes ready to eat. She said it might take awhile, but they would change.

making changes

The good, nutritious food that normally and naturally tastes sweet didn’t even taste sweet to them because they were so jacked up on things that were not good for them, that were infused with unnatural flavors and intense sweetness. It took about 7 days to retrain their palates. We got rid of all of the snacks in the house and went cold turkey. My husband and I had to work together on this. We just told the kids that we were now going to have three meals a day. I made sure the kids weren’t dehydrated because dehydration can present like hunger. 

I am not an advocate for not feeding your kids, obviously, but I’m telling you they will fight you and they will be emotionally charged around food the same way you are. They like what they like and they want what they want. They are humans just like the rest of us. There’s a difference between them fighting you and them being truly hungry. When my kids come to me and say that they are really hungry and I offer them a beef stick or a fried egg, they will sometimes decline that and then they’ll say they really wanted a granola bar or something. That’s when I know they’re not really hungry. They just wanted a little treat. 

this will take mental toughness

When you transition away from snacking, you will be in for a very difficult week or so. Prepare for it mentally. Make sure you have what you need to serve up healthy meals. You will get through the transition, but it can be difficult. You can always incorporate snacks again later. I’m not saying I’m not against snacks. But honestly, I save so much money by not buying snacks, and that is another reason to get out of the snack cycle.

So, if you are ready to take the leap, here are 7 tips and tricks to get your kids away from snack foods and into eating full size meals–and partaking in good nutrition.

7 tips & tricks if you’re ready to get out of the snack cycle

Number one: the first week that you eliminate snacking and you feed them three meals a day, you need to know that addiction and detox is real. So plan for activities between meals. Do things that are a distraction. Grab your water and head to the park or play with friends. During this time, I literally told my kids, “I don’t have any snacks.” And, oh, they fought against that, but it was the truth. I had thrown all of our snack items out. Be ready for a week of crazy, but I promise you week two is so much better. They bounce back so much faster than we do as adults. 

Number two: if you receive care or help with your kids, plan in advance and ask everybody who has an important role in their lives to be on board with your plan. Talk with your spouse, tell them your goals and explain that you want the kids to enjoy meals. You want them to eat nutritious food. We’ve got to get them off these snacks just for a season in order to retrain their palate and get them on a better path. Get everybody on board. It’s for the greater good because there’s so much goodness coming for your dinner table.  

Number three: pray for wisdom and guidance if you’re nudged to do this. God is faithful and he is going to guide you in all of this. You’re going to run into moments where you feel bad because you created this mess. Trusting that God is going to show up and do something good even when our circumstances are hard. Remember, fear is faith in the wrong kingdom. And fear is when you aren’t sure that you’re loved when you’ve made mistakes. God wants the best for you and your family–for the long term.

Number four: manage your expectations. I went in with the attitude that I expected everyone to hate me for a week. Now, that didn’t happen. Out of all four kids, I really only had one who was having a very, very hard time. I had a couple of kids who, you know, they just enjoyed what I had to offer. For the first week when you’re doing three meals a day, be sure to make foods they enjoy. If they like apples and blueberries and eggs and meat for breakfast, give them stuff that they enjoy and let them choose what they’re going to eat off of their plate.

My son was 3 years old at the time and he was strong willed and pushing back hard about this new way of eating. Now he is my best and most adventurous eater today and has a healthy attitude towards mealtimes. That week was terrifying for me, but I managed my expectations and so much goodness came out of it. Don’t fear. The kids will actually fall in line in the best way and you will be so relieved!

Number five: mom guilt is not required. This is probably my favorite part. I don’t do mom guilt. I gave up mom guilt a couple of years ago and I am so thankful. As Christians, we are not required to carry around guilt. We bring our guilt and shame to the cross and we receive mercy and righteousness and goodness. If you’re swept up in mom guilt, I would encourage you to find sisters that will mentor you and encourage you in this area. You never have to subscribe to mom guilt. That’s a new thing and it’s toxic. It’s unhelpful and it’s going to rob your home of so much joy. Christ will handle all your guilt. That is the very essence of why you believe.  

Number six: you’ll be tempted to quit when it gets hard. It’s a hard week. I’m not even going to lie. I cried so much and I wanted to just give my son the packet of applesauce. I just wanted to wave my white flag. I had to bank on the promised land that was ahead of me for doing this hard work. I did the easy route for four years and I had to get out of the easy route because easy now equals hard later; hard now equals easy later. 

When you are tempted to give your kids the snack or the treat and just let up on it a little bit, I want to encourage you to stay strong. You will undo the work that you’re doing because when your kids realize that your weakness can be leveraged to get what they want, they will totally go for it in the future. They will just be even more resolved to be stubborn and give you bad behavior. You’ll be tempted, but just remember your negative emotions are temporary.  This despair that you’ll experience and the guilt and the shame and the things that you’ll feel, I want to remind you that the week of detox is temporary. Emotions are temporary. Go grab my free Feelings Check In Download and work through that. It will be so good!

Number seven: Make it fun. This does not have to be terrible for you or for the kids. I’m just saying eliminating snacks to retrain their palate will help them to eat all your food and you can make your table great again. This is fantastic news! Make the meals that they love. We did treat night, okay? We still do treat night. Treat night is like the holy grail of our week. We do it on rest day. When the kids were really small, we would go to Sprouts and we would buy a cake and we wouldn’t even serve them cake on plates–we’d just put it in the middle of the table, give everyone a fork and tell them to go for it. Fun memories! We still look forward to treat night every week. The kids still love it. I love that. It was kind of this sneaky habit that came in that is such a delight for our family. What I’m saying is this doesn’t have to be terrible. Make meals that they like. Simple and delicious. Even if you cook the same meals on repeat, that’s fine. That’s going to make your meal planning so much easier.

Those are the seven tips that I have for you. If you are feeling nudged to cut out snacks, I want to encourage you that you can totally do this. If you decide this is your season to do it, please know that on the other side is so much goodness. You will not regret it! It’s going to boost your confidence as a mom. That has been such a great side benefit.

in alignment

It’s just feels good when you’re in alignment and you’re in obedience with where you need to go next.

Your dinner table will be full of thankful, hungry babies and young kids. There is nothing more satisfying than having your babies gathered around the table eagerly waiting for the next meal you worked hard to prepare to be served up. When I lay down the food on the table, my kids squeal with delight, “Oh mom, this looks so good!  Oh, thank you so much!” They’re so full of gratitude. They love the blueberries and they love the apples and they love the fried eggs and they love cheesy eggs and they love steak and they love chicken. I thought my kids were never going to eat anything but cheddar rockets and applesauce. Family meals feel totally different now.

trying new things

It’s amazing.  It’s awesome. Another thing you have to look forward to is your kids will  be willing to explore new foods at the dinner table and they will be willing to try new things and cultivate new tastes. It may not happen all at once, but you will be getting them used to the idea of trying new things.

They’ll be willing to try new things because they’re going to come to the table. Hungry people are willing to try new things. They’re adventurous, but when they’re not hungry and they’re bored with their food options, they’re just not that into it. It is so much easier to establish healthy eating habits when you start with truly hungry kids.

Another thing you have to look forward to is the compliments you’re going to receive when you start dining out with others. This blows my mind. We get compliments every time we go out to eat or we’re going to small group or we go to my parents during the holidays. People say, “your kids come to the table and they eat a good meal. This is so refreshing.” 

And I think to myself, yes, I know. It’s just wonderful. The comments that we get are, the comments that we get and the compliments we receive are so delightful and I’m thankful for them. I actually thank my six years ago self and I say, thank you for doing that hard thing, girl. We continue to reap the blessing that is that hard work from that season. 

come to the table with a thankful heart

Another thing that you have to look forward to is your faith will be so vibrant. You guys will all thank God for your meals. He will be a part of the midst and your dreaded mealtime will now be a place of fellowship where the Holy Spirit can dwell.  Complaining and dread and despair are what the Israelites did when they were alienated from God. Every time that they complained and grumbled,  they didn’t receive the blessing. And when you come to the table with a thankful heart, God dwells there. There are so many rich conversations that we have about our faith around the dinner table. We never had access to this until we made this change. 

Thank you so much for reading, Be sure to download the free PDF of here of my Cutting Out Snacks Guide and say goodbye to miserable meal times for good. It will be so helpful to you! 

I do weekly coaching. I mentor people all the time. I help you come up with strategies. I help you unpack your mind mess. I am a certified CBT practitioner. This is my job. I love helping people change their thought life and change their perspective so they can get peace on purpose–so they can be anxious for nothing.

The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. But it starts with you learning how to be worried and anxious for nothing. I’ll see you !.  next time on the blog and podcast. Thanks for tuning in. You can find me over on Instagram and Facebook. You can also find out ways that you can partner with me or work with me for a season.You can get more information at leslieburris. com.